the "melting" moment ;)

Gibby <3 Zaraby ;)

This is the guy that keeps making me crying,laughing,happy,sad and every feelings that I have in my heart. I dont know what he has done to me that make me stick to him till now. This was our second time of dating together in Seremban. He bought me that ice-cream and I didnt expect to get that kiss from him! Hahaha 

Thanks for all the moments we had together,and thanks for being such a patient man for this mad woman! Hehehe ;)

May Lord bless us. Aminn.. 

DUA BUDAK GEMOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!! 

tulahh.. selalu sangat ejek si kecikk tuh gemokk.. last last aku plak yg gemooooooooook! hahahaha :D

p/s : PERHATIKAN LEMAK DI LENGAN! HAHA!

mom says..

"nabi ada cakap,kita jangan asyik berkawan dgn org kaya sbb nanti kita cepat lupa daratan and akn asyik selalu mengejar harta duniawi dr harta akhirat"

hmmm.. btol cakap mama. yg nie je aku rs mama berubah sejak dia blk dr Mekah. aku perasan dulu,mama selalu nk bersaing dgn kawan kawan dia. in terms of EVERYTHING! pangkat,rumah,kereta,harta,kejayaan anak-anak. tp skrg,seems like mama dh x kisah sume tuh.. seriously. :)

well,that's a good sign! 

it's true,kita x ptot sgt nk berkawan dgn org kaya nie. ssh lah nk cr org kaya yg humble n POLITE. sume berlagak tak hengat donia! mcm lah she's/he's the richest person in this world. pooooooooooodah! kalau kaya harta tp miskin budi bahasa,mmg TAK ahh aku nk buat kawan. sorry okey? u r so not into my group of friends ;) aku dh ckup happy dgn condition family aku skrg.. wpun kitorg x kaya,tp kitorg x miskin. hee. janji kitorg ckup makan ckup pakai. :)

and the most important thing is that,we all being together no matter what. mama selalu ckp dia suka tgk anak-anak dia. sbb anak-anak dia rpt with each other and dgn family sendri. ssh nk cr siblings yg mcm tuh skrg.. yg ada skrg,sumenya bwk haluan masing masing. dh x nak stick together. malu ke apa,i dunno. :)

so the point is,kita berkawan lah dgn sume taraf manusia. kaya ke miskin ke. tp yg penting attitude. kalau agak agak,ada je kawan yg lain mcm,hindarilah. nothing to regret. :) sbb kawan kawan yg "lain macam" nie lah yg akan jatuhkan kita satu hari nanti. trust me,ive been thru it before. ;)))

exciting for this upcomin' 2011!

heee ;)))
tao tak asal aku excited sangat dgn new year kali nie? FIRST OF ALL,ini lah pertama kalinya aku akn celeb8 new yearrrrrrr!! hahahahaha :D
abah allowed me to celeb8 new year this time. OMG! hahaha. mesti korg rs aku mcm bdk bdk kan? excited semacam. hahaha. alahh,dh mmg aku nk excited,what to do. korg x tao life aku mcm mne,so when it comes to certain thing,mmg aku akn jd sgt excited! hehehe :)
wpun aku just celeb8 new year kt KL(sbb bajet x cukup. huuu) tp x kisah lah. janji aku dpt celeb8 dgn si DIA,and dpt enjoyy malam tuh. heee ;)
mmg aku n DIA akn ronda ronda kt KL tuh smpai ke subuh. hahaha. so if korg ada kt KL jgk somewhere in BB,just let me know okeyy? boleh lepak sama ;)

okey,that's all for the new year's eve celeb8ion. the second thing yg buat aku excited psal 2011 is that,aku akn mula kerja pd thn itu. hehehe.. kerja apa? itu yg x pasti lg. so far aku byk dpt offer keje bhgn ADMIN. not s a company secretary. tp xkisah,sbb aku nk kerja nie sbb aku nk cr pengalaman dlu. in my whole life,ive never worked. EVER! mama n abah x bg aku keje langsung. but then,now,d sebabkan condition economy family agak low skit,so mama n abah terpaksa bg aku kerja. hehehe ;)
well i dun mind to start workin and forget bout my study for a while,sbb aku mmg nk cr duit aku sendri. selama 1thn aku jd penganggur kt rumah nie,sumpah bosan! and everything i wanted to buy,i had to seek money from my dad. kesian abahh.. thats why kalau boleh aku xnk lg bazir duit abah n mama. well,sorry. I'M NOT A SPOIL BRAT! asyik menghabiskan duit mak ayah jerr. bergaya dgn duit parents,proud kah?? HELL NO! hahahaha !
so hopefully,aku dpt kerja cepat and dapat gaji yg nyam nyam nyam. heee. bukan senang nk hidup d KL. ;)

so i guess now u guys know why i m so excited to face this 2011 because i want to start my whole new life s a career lady :) . and im sure,my life never gonna be same from that moment ;)

after so fuckin' long time ;)

yeszaaa!
now is the time!! hahahaha. wow. lama gilaa aku x update blog aku nie. smpai ada yg tanya "why x update blog?" hehehe. btw,thanks for those who follow my blog all this while. :)
actually,aku mmg x da apa nk update,thats why blog aku sunyi sepi. kalau ada certain stressful or interesting issue jer yg aku akn update kt blog nie.. or time aku btol btol dh x tahan,so aku let it go by expressin my feelings in this blog. hmmm.. mmg rindu jugak ah nk update blog nie! hehehe ;)
okeyy.. enough for introduction. now let's go for the story of my lifeeeeeeeee :)

for you,Mr. A.

Aku tau,aku nie cuma perempuan simpanan kau jer dulu. kau x penah anggap aku lebih dr itu kan? sbb dalam hati kau dh ada perempuan lain. aku tau tuh. kehadiran aku dlm hidup kau pun selepas kau dgn dia. and smpai skrg kau masih dgn dia.. tp aku bersyukur sbb Allah dh buka kan mata aku utk tak teruskan hidup bersama kau. Alhamdulilah,aku x lg jd perosak rumahtangga org lain. Tp apa yg aku terkilan skrg,kau cr peganti aku. peganti perempuan simpanan kau. kau dh ada special gf tp kenapa kau masih nk ada perempuan lain yg kau hanya anggap sbg brg mainan kau jer? Aku x marah kan kau,tp aku sedih dgn apa yg kau buat skrg nie.. Why can't you change? Why must you hurt the one that love you the most? Mmg aku kesian dkat gf kau,smpaikan aku sendiri rs sanggup nk confess dgn gf kau apa yg dh jadi atr kau dan aku. Tp aku perempuan,dia perempuan. Mana sanggup aku tgk dia kecewa dgn attitude kau. Kalau lah aku boleh bgtau gf kau perkara yg sbenar. Aku x mnyesal kehilangan kau,aku x pernah sedih hilang kau,wpun aku sayangkan kau tp aku tau pd mata kau,aku x lebih dr barang mainan kau. Aku tao tuh.. Xperlah,apa yg dh jd atr aku dgn kau,aku lupakan. I just hope you can change yourself into a better person. Sudah2 lah mainkan perasaan perempuan dgn kata kata dan harapan palsu kau tuh. Thanks sbb dh x cari aku lagi,aku makin tenang takda kau dalam hidup aku. Thanks A***. I just wanna say this,berubahlah,demi diri kau dan org yg sayangkan kt kau. Berubahlah..

it's never been easy..

dear god, why izit so hard for ppl to accept me? why izit so hard to be me? mmg btoll ckp org.. bila kita nk berubah utk menjadi seseorg yg lebih baik,byk dugaan yg dtg. i dont wish to b a religious person. i just wish to b good daughter,friend,lover and especially a loyal follower of Allah. aku cuba ubah dri aku yg skrg.. tp susahnya,hanya Allah yg tahu.. aku xnak kehilangan org org yg aku sayang tp aku dpt rasakan makin lama kasih sayang aku utk org yg aku sayang makin pudar.. mungkin sbb aku terlalu kecik ati and tawar ati dgn certain attitude of the persons that i love most on how they treat me. aku byk terasa dgn attitude org yg aku sayang on how they treat me. ssh aku nk put it in words. if only ppl can read my mind instead of readin my lips n lookin at my fake smile.agak agak nya lah kan,ada ke org nk hargai aku? ada ker? ada ker org syg aku? ada ker org perlukan aku mcm mana aku perlukan org org itu dalam hidup aku? mcm mana rs nya sayang org? mcm mana rasanya di sayangi orang lain? kenapa makin lama perasaan SAYANG tuh mcm dh hilang dr hati aku.. kenapa? atau aku mmg x ptot di sayang or menyayangi org lain? thats why aku takut nk sayang org.. serioushit! sometimes aku rs aku xda tempat dalam hati siapa siapa pon. sometimes aku rs aku xda siapa siapa dh dalam dunia nie. mcm aku tgl sorg.. sedih kan? tp sedih ker? apa tuh sedih? yg aku tahu,aku dh x rasa apa apa. semua mcm dh jadi 1,dh jadi kosong.. kalau aku dh tak ada kt dunia nie,aku harap ada lah jugak 2 3 org yg btol2 nangis bila kehilangan aku,yg btol2 hargai aku dlm hidup dorg.. i dont expect much. one wud be enough for me. ada ker org nk sedekahkan Al-Fatihah utk aku kalau aku dh x ada nanti? Nadia,dalam hidup nie,byk mana pun kwn kita dalam dunia nie,in the end,kau akn berseorangan jugak Nadia.. So be prepare of that. If only i cud turn back time.. I really wish for a miracle in my life.. I wish..

RABAK!

HAHAHA! lain mcm kan tajuk aku? hehehe.. ;p
well.. kali nie mmg aku puas hati lepak Kl! x duk umh langsung. kuar dr siang,tgh pagi br blk.. hehe.
this is what i call LEPAKIN' yaww! haha! smpai rabak jugak ahh mata aku.. rabak sbb x cukup tidoq one thing,lagi satu,mata aku bengkak gilaa babi sbb x tanggal makeup punya psal. abis naik allergic! FUCK! haha!
mmg dh mcm artis lah aku mlm smlm,jln tunduk2,cover2 mata,ckp x pandang mata org,tunduk jer keje! hahaha..kelakar btoll. tp serioushit,kali mmg syok lepak.. tgk nite life Kl semula! hehe.. rindu jugak lah nk jd kelawar kan? akhirnya! HAHAHA!
aku mmg all out kaw kaw punya this time. yelah,sbb after this 1bln jgak lah wa x trun kl. mama n wan g haji kan.. siapa nk jaga umh. so stay je lah kt Klang. jd bibik full time! hehehe :)
aku bersyukur sbb mlm2 yg aku g lepak tuh,aku x sentuh pown ayaq setan lagi.. alhamdulilah. insyallah boleh. slow slow :)
sooooooooo.. pendek kata,mmg RAAAAAAAABAAAK lah lepak lepak kali nie! HAHAHA! :D

:(

hmm.. harini tiba tiba rs down ohh. and makin byk yg tersemak dalam otak aku nie.. kenapa lah aku selalu sangat berpk satu satu hal tuh terlalu serious eh? smpai kan aku kne migrain ohh.. mmg tekanan habis! if only i cud share it with somebody. hal keluarga,kwn2,duit,diri sendri and mcm mcm lagi lah.. smpai aku rs mcm baik aku x pyh hidup lagi sbb aku dh x larat dgn semua masalah nie. they just wont stop! kenapa aku yg alami semua  hal nie? aku sedar aku dh makin jahil sekrg.. kdg kdg aku rindu zaman aku kecik dlu,aku rs aku lagi bertamadun kowt time aku kecik compared to my life rite now yg penuh sgt dgn dosa. kalau diikutkan mmg tmpat aku kt neraka jer.. nauzubillah.. takotnya.. xsanggup aku ke neraka Mu dan xlayak aku ke syurga Mu,Ya Allah.. aku cuba ubah diri aku dr hari hari ke hari tp aku dpt rasakan dlm hati aku nie kotor sangat. dpt rs yg hati aku nie dh hitam. dh x suci dan putih mcm dlu.. skrg nie pown aku prasan aku byk diamkan dri bila ada msalah,aku x nak bercerita dgn org lain even with my own family,my dad,the man that i treat s my bestfriend. aku dh malu nk berkongsi apa apa msalah ngn abah mahupun dgn kwn2 lain. aku rs mcm aku hidupdlm dunia yg ada hanya aku sorg.. Ya Allah,aku mohon pada Mu,terangilah hatiku,lapangkan lah dada ku,berikanlah aku petunjuk Mu Ya Allah.. aku dh nekad,aku nak berhenti minum,mabuk. ntah kenapa kali terakhir aku minum tuh,aku x pk org lain,mama n abah jer yg ada dlm otak aku.. dorg dh pelihara aku dgn baik,bg aku kehidupan yg senang,tp aku dh hampa kan dorg.. aku x jd anak yg solehah,yg mereka harapkan. sesungguhnya,aku dh musnah kan harapan kedua ibu bapa ku,padahal mereka xda salah apa apa pon dgn aku.. Ya Allah,hina nya aku nie.. manusia jenis apa aku nie Ya Allah? kadang kadang aku mnyesal belajar kt Kl. sbb aku tao,aku mmg culture shock. aku nk cuba mcm mcm smpai aku x sedar aku dh merosakkan hidup aku sendri.. aku mmg bkn perempuan yg baek,tp aku berharap aku dpt peluang kedua utk berubah.. Ya Allah,kau lindungilah keluarga aku dan org org yg aku sayang Ya Allah.. berkatilah hidup mereka dan limpahkan lah mereka dgn kurnia Mu Ya Allah.. semoga kami semua di tempatkan di tempat yg mulia di sisi Mu Ya Allah. Amin ...

wowwwwwwwwwwwww!

ehemm.. ehemm.. :)
AAR! :)

merepek merepek merepek!

ish! wth u thinkin nadia??? ishh.. mcm mana kau boleh confess kt dia yg kau suka dia? ish ish ish. bodoh tao,tp berani lah jugaaak! hehehe :)
kenapa eh aku suka dia? hmm.. mayb sbb muka dia kowt. he's cute. hahaha. alah,myb feelin nie just suka kowt.. nothing more than that. hopefully! hehe.. aku pn br knal dia.. xkan dh nk ckp bab hati n perasaan? mcm kelakar jerr.. haha. mayb aku lonely kowt,yerlah lately aku asyik pk psal nk ada boyfriend jer. pdahal x penting sgt pown.. tp yerlah,it has been 8months n bout to b 9months ive been single. the longest period of being single in my whole life. haha. nampak sangat x laku kan? hahaha. redha jer lah nadiaa.. dh jodoh kau blum smpaii lagi.. chill lahh.. why must you rush? bukannya kau nk kawen skrg. hahaha aku nie asyik2 ckp mcm tuh jer.. pdahal mmg ketagih sangat nak ada boypren! haha smpai ketagih haaa!!
kdg2 aku frust sbb bila aku dh suka someone mesti ada jer halangan yg x boleh nk aku b together with him.  tuh yg kuciwa tuh.. pdahal the right guy is already in front of me. tp there's something yg jd barrier utk kitorg get together. haiish~ sedih btoll lahh.. huhuu~
tp tkper lah,everything happen for reason. insyallah,akn dtg jdoh aku lebih bgus n sangat unexpected. hehe.. n for the guy yg aku gtau aku suka kat kau,hmm.. abaikan jer lah.. xpyh nk semakkan otak kau psal aku.. aku terspontan lah! hehehe.. thanks cz still stay s my friend.. mwaaaaaahh!! :)

hmm.. this feelin has come again :)

okey,aku admit.. skrg nie aku dh mula sayang kt dia.. sayang kah? i know it sounds weird sbb aku x pnh jmpa dia lg.. cntact pown thru phone n fb.. hehe.. but seems like he's a nice guy.. jrg2 lelaki suruh aku solat SUBUH! but he did.. hehehe.. thats the special thing bout this guy.. hmm.. :)
tp aku tau sume nie terlalu awl,aku pown x nak paksa dia terima aku.. so,dpt jd kwn dia pown aku dh rs okeyy.. lgpown dia nk stabil kan hidup n kewangan dia.. so i tink,its better for him to settle down first. to achieve what he wants in his life.. psal cinta nie,mayb kitorg terpaksa tolak tepi dlu.. aku kne phm condition dia.. i cant b selfish.. frankly,dia mmg ada ciri2 yang aku nak,yg plg penting,he's like the reflection of me. kitorg suka bergurau n so far dia jrg lah touching bila bergurau ngn aku,cume aku nie jer kdg2 gewdik jer nk majok ngn dia.. hahaha
mula dh perangai gewdik aku nie! hahaha
well,actually,aku takot jgk nk serious dgn dia,aku takot friendship kitorg dh x mcm nie.. dh x fun mcm skrg.. huhuu.. so i guess its better for us to stay like this for another few months. tgk lah mcm mana,kalau after life dia dh okey,n he approach me,then i guess mmg kitorg ada jodoh lah tuh.. hehe.. amin!
so yeah,this feelin has come again and i cant stop smilin' i c his face,his pictures. hehe :)

RAYA KEMBALI!

yayyy! the raya is back again! ALHAMDULILAH.. :)
sempat jugaak aku celeb8 raya thn nie.. panjang lg umur aku.. ALHAMDULILAH..
well,s usual,event d pg hari adalah bersalam-salaman with the whole fmily! hehehe.. mcm2 hal btoll! yg menanges,yeah,s usual,my mom! hehehe.. yg lain rileks jerrr... n yg penting DAPAT DUIT RAYA! yayyy! hehehe.. seronok! so yeah, pg td was fun! pas dh settle sume activity kt umh,kitorg gerak blk kg plakk.. kitorg gerak dlm 11pm. but then stop jap kt Petronas Damansara.. and this is when the incident started to happen! kitorg blk kg dgn 2 kete.. my dad and my bro yg drive. but then kete my dad buat hal plaaak! temperature naiik.. so kne bg kete tuh cool down dlu. thank god there's nothing serious. so after that kitorg teroskan perjalanan ke PERAK yaww! hehehe.. punya lah jamm. mak datuk! tension jgaak lah blk kg pg raya.. huhuu.. then kitorg stop by jap,havin lunch. then round 3pm kitorg gerak blk,g umh mak lang kt air kuning.. x silap aku smpai kt umh mak lang dlm 4pm lebey kowwt.. then lepak2 umah mak lang smpai lah 6pm lebey.. so after dh settle kt umah mak lang,dh settle celeb8 bday pak lang,kitorg pown gerak g ipoh! nk check in.. dh lewat kowwt,bdn plak dh penat.. and rite im in Hillcity Hotel! enjoyin my nite facebookin n bloggin! hehehe.. well.. wpun aku cite pendek jer kt sni bout what happened for my 1st raya,but the actual incident was hard to explain in words! hehehehe ..
i m so fuckin tired but yet i was havin so much fun today.. so,yayyy!! hehe..

old-fashioned

well this one goes to me!
aku rasa lately aku nie dh x pndai nk dressup lah. y meyh? tgk lah,kalau kuar ngn kwn2 aku just pkaii singlet top jerr.. xda nya nk dressup kaw kaw dh mcm dlu! hehe.. apesal weh?!
perubahan hormon kah? hehehe.. perhaps! well.. umur aku pown dh mkin lanjut n lanjut. dh 21 derr.. pergh! mcm x caya jerr dh 21.. hahaha
abah selalu ckp,umur kakya jer 21 tp prangai mcm bdk 16thn! hehe.. so what?! bwekkk! hehe ;p
lately aku dh rs mcm malas jer nk uptodate sangat. mayb because ongkos nya pown ngak ada! hehe.. but definitely,aku suka tgk org dressup yg sangat style n so fashionable! those ppl r my inspiration for what im goin to wear. hehe.
but frankly,single top and jeans ARE HOT yaww! hahaha ;D
lagi2 kalau pkai flip flops. but not that crocs silly shoes! hehehehe ;p
so,hopefully mood berfashioned aku dtg blk! hehe i m so fuckin in love with fashion okeyy!

SEMPURNA :)

alhamdulilahh.. syukur sangat.. terima kasih ya Allah. Terima kasih atas segala nikmat kau kurniakan padaku.. Aku bersyukur sangat ya Allah.. :)
so lepas nie boleh lah aku tentukan hala tuju hidup aku. apa aku nk buat. nak kerja kt mana. dh sampai masa utk aku cr duit aku sndri. aku pown dh 21. and bkn makin muda. at least aku boleh ringankan beban parents aku. xpyh lah dorg spent too much for me lagi. and aku pown x pyh nk minx2 duit dorg lagi.. :)
kalau aku nk joli pown biar aku pkai duit aku sendri. biar aku rs susah senang jd org dewasa. cukup2 lah zaman utk aku lepak lepak jer. kne lebey serious after this. smpai bila aku nk perasan muda kan??? hehehe :)
alhamdulilahh.. sempurna sudah perjalanan PDCA aku.. AMIN! :)

takda mood!

well.. tiba tiba jer aku rs takde mood nk raya thn nie.. huhu
sbb nya.. hee! sbb aku x beli tee utk raya lah! mcm kne pkai tee yg dah ada nie jerr.. huhu
sangat x best! aku kalau raya mesti ada tee raya. jeans raya aku dh ada dh. Levi's mari. itupun satu jer mama beli. huhu..
x kisah sangat pasal jeans tuh. cz aku dh antar alter kt kedai jahit. kasi cun sikit itu jeans! haha jeans aku rs dh byk sangat dh.. gpun buat apa nk byk2. kt Klang jer aku pkai.. kt Kl,bila aku kuar for sure xdanya nk pkai yg pnjang2. hahaha :p
tp yg penting nie,tee raya xda. sedih nya! aku thn nie bajet lari gilaa ah.. kalau last year heaven sikit. sbb ada duit MARA. thn nie aku langsung x dpt duit MARA. mcm2 hal btol lah! hadoiii..
so,raya nie aku hanya ada baju kebaya n kurung baru jer.. and handbag br. heels pown aku x beli lg! x tao nk beli heels apa.. mcm x best jer raya thn nie! DAMN! :(

i wish but not hopin'! hahaha

i dream to have a guy that r so well in dancin' and must the muscles that i can play on all the time! 

:)

yesza! hehehe :D

aku x tau lahh.. tp aku mmg suka tgk lelaki yg pndai dance and havin' muscles.  i found that these kind of  guys r so sexy. and yeah, i love sexy guys. lantak lah org nk ckp dorg gay ker apa. they can judge. but like i care huh? s long i have this kind of guy by my side to be my teddy! hahaha :D

b4 this aku suka laki yg skinny, yg kepenk2 tuh, but lama lama aku naik bosan plak! hahaha. so skrg myb dh tukar taste kowt. i suka yg ada muscles! nyam nyam. hahaha :D

but that doesn't mean i must have this kind of guy to be my partner. nahhh.. love is blind. that's for sure. who knows,mayb i fall for a fat guy??? jeng jeng jeng! hahahaha :D

nie lah 1st highcut aku.. be4 this aku pkai lowcut jerr.. tp kn aku rs aku dh pnh lah pkai highcut dlu, from Converse. tp time tuh aku f2 or f3 lah.. time2 tomboy dlu.. hehehe.. skrg nie terasa nk pkai highcut blk lah plak! hee ;)

i got this highcut from Pull&Bear. Normal price is rm260,but after less i got rm140! so,mmg aku x pk panjang lahh wehh.. aku teros grab! xdpt beli Supra pown xper lahh.. next time maybe. hee ;)

tp kan,skrg nie aku trasa nk beli highcut hitam kt Echopark plak. mcm cantik! haha.. kne kumpul duit dr skrg!

nie plak hobi aku bila aku dh blk Cheras. hehehe.. colour kuku! yup! ;)

aku ada byk quitex. mcm2 colour.. hitam,merah,hijau,purple,peach and others.. aku pown dh x brapa nk ingat! hehehe aku xsuka kuku aku nmpak kosong.. so aku pown colour lah kuku aku. especially time aku period. mmg aku akn colour punya! pastu mmg malas nk tanggal kan blk.. hehe ;)

haha! nie plak latest hobby aku.. buat tatoo! haha.. jgn tekejoot. it's just temporary. not permanent! blum terpk nk uat yg permanent lagi.. hehehe ;)

so nie lah 1st tatoo aku.. aku buat kt Sungai Wang. one tatoo rm15. buat actually depends on the design. mkin besar design tuh,mkin mhl lahh. boleh smpai rm50 wooo! time aku byk duit,mmg aku buat kt blakang bdn aku.. haha tp tgu aku ada duit lah kan? and aku nk cr tatoo shop yg ada colour plak. tatoo aku nie colour black jer.. x best! hehe.. colourful br menarik! ;D

baju raya!

yayy! seronok aku arini.. dah dpt baju raya!! hehehe.. 1 kurung moden and 1 kebaya pendek! hehe.. aku nk sgt pkai kebaya mcm nie dr dlu.. tp xda peluang. dlu parents aku x suka aku pkai baju kain jarang,skrg dh bg lah plak.. hehe.. pelik kan? ahh! x kisah lahh.. janji aku dpt baju raya! mama spent rm400 utk 2 bju nie.. and she wants to buy me another ciffon for me! hee :)
seronok lah plak! sbb mcm byk jer bju raya aku thn nie.. so after this boleh lah aku nk beli new handbag and new heels for this Raya! nak kasi matching! hehehe :)

thank you mama for this new baju raya! hee ;)

EGO. salah ke?

salah ke aku ego dlm percintaan? frankly, aku mmg xkan start any 1st move to start a serious relationship.. aku x boleh.. walau mcm mana suka nya aku kt mamat tuh.. aku lebih suka pendam. aku x kan bgtau dia yg aku suka kt dia unless dia yg start the 1st move.. dh byk kali aku buat mcm nie.. n yes, this wasn't my 1st time i loose the man that i like n bout to love him..

aku ego mayb,1st,sbb aku x nak dia reject aku. mana ada girl boleh terima kalau dia kene reject dgn laki yg dia suka. sakit tao.. n yeah, malu gilaaa! huhuuu~

well,my biggest reason is because, yeah, whenever there is a guy tries to approach for a serious relationship,i rather to say "u deserve to b with someone better than me". so mayb laki tuh ingt aku x nk dia.. pdahal,aku minx hold on kejap.. bg aku ms utk pk.. lgpun laki tuh ptot tao yg aku mmg slesa bkwn ngn dia,so takda sbb aku nk reject dia mcm tuh..

for the guys, if after a quite long time we've been friends n i slalu bercerita anything with u means i slesa berkwn dgn u.. n it shud not b a problem for us to further our relationship,tp i need some time for this.. give me time to know u,to understand u n to accept u for who u really r.. that's y i minx kita berkwn dlu.. bukan sbb i reject u 100%.. don't u get it ?

ada sebab knapa aku suruh lelaki tuh pilih prempuan lain dr aku.. ada reason yg sgt besar.. kalau kau boleh dpt prempuan yg lg bgus drpd aku knapa x kau terima jer dia? aku byk sgt kelemahan n rite now aku tgh perbetulkan diri aku.. when it comes to get into a relationship,aku akn jd sgt low confident.. aku harap kau phm.. aku yg bmasalah.. bukan kau..

so yeah,because all of this,aku jd semakin ego.. especially to boys! sorry.. perangai aku yg 1 nie mmg susah nk d ubah.. guys outside there,yg trasa nk serious ngn aku,pk dlu k? aku x nk hilang friendship yg dh ada skrg.. aku xnk semakin hilang kwn kwn.. please understand me.. i hope u can..

hanya ingin kau tahu - republik

Ku telah miliki
Rasa indahnya perihku
Rasa hancurnya harapku
Kau lepas cintaku

Rasakan abadi
Sekalipun kau mengerti
Sekalipun kau pahami
Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu
Besarnya cintaku
Tingginya khayalku bersamamu

Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini
Di setiap hariku
Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku

Walaupun semua hanya ada dalam mimpiku
Hanya ada dalam anganku
Melewati hidup

Rasakan abadi
Sekalipun kau mengerti
Sekalipun kau pahami
Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu

i wish u know how i feel for u from the start..
lettin' u go wasn't the easiest thing to do..
but i rather leave u,than pretendin' in front of u..
u r with her rite now,so i fly away..
to give both of u the space of LOVE..
goodbye my love..
-the end-

my playmates! :)

light grey : KIKI

ini COCO n KIKI! :)
tp,skrg, KIKI dh xda.. dia dh mati.. so sad! n skrg,aku mmg rindu gilaa kt KIKI. :`(

orange : BOOLAT

stripes grey : COMEL

grey : COCO

so these are my cats!!! hehehe.. rite now i got 3 cats. COMEL (along), COCO (angah), BOOLAT (acik). aku suka sangat maen ngn dorg.. sbb dorg sgt best! tp aku tkowt sket nk gurau lebih lebih ngn COMEL. sbb dia sangat garang! korg tgk muka dia pown korg tao kn dia tuh mmg garang. kaki nenek aku dh brape kali kne ngap ngn COMEL! hehehe.. aku rs aku pnh kne cakar ngn si COMEL tuh.. n fyi, COMEL skrg jd leader of the cats kt area umah aku nie.. sume kucing tkowt ngn dia! hehe.. n mostly,kucing kucing betina kt cni,cmfirm kne "ehem ehem" ngn COMEL aku nie! hehehe.. taiko nie! jgn maen maen wehh.. hahaha

well,si COCO nie dlu ada partner,nama dia KIKI! but unfortunately, KIKI dh mati.. :(
tragic gilaa kematian dia owhh..
adik aku terjumpa KIKI kt dlm longkang. xtao lah dia lemas ke x,then 2 3 ari after that,KIKI mati ngn mulut berbuih buih. mayb dia keracunan. n perhaps,org racun kan dia!!! damn it!!! dulu COCO n KIKI rpt gilaa,dorg mmg dh couple dr dly agy. aku dpt COCO n KIKI nie dr kg aku kt terengganu. pak ngah aku kasii.. dorg baka siam. so bulu dorg mmg fabulous gilaa! lagi lagi si KIKI nie! hehehe.. since KIKI dh xda, COCO dh x lincah mcm dlu.. byk mnyendiri.. :(
so sad!

now psal si BOOLAT plak! hehehe.. actually aku dh x nk bela kucing lg.. sbb ayh aku mmg x brapa suka sgt ngn kucing.. dia x tahan bao taik kucing nie.. well,mne ada org suka bau taik kucing! hehehe.. nenek aku jumpa BOOLAT nie tgh jln kt tepi jln. comot gilaa dia time nenek aku jumpa.. so nenek aku trasa nk bela si BOOLAT nie,aku mula mula xnk. but then,bila tgk muka si BOOLAT nie,aku rs geram plak! nenek aku pown teros mandikan BOOLAT,smpai jari nenek aku kne geget ngn BOOLAT. hahaha.. kucing x penah kne mandi,teros terkejoot lah!hehehe.. n perot si BOOLAT nie mmg gemook gilaa! that's y aku pgl dia BOOLAT.. mula mula aku pgl dia BOTAK,cz dia mmg botak. kt kepala dia x da bulu.. myb kne cukur ngn org.. huhuu sian gilaa BOOLAT aku nie! BOOLAT nie kucing betina.. n mmg manja habis! hehe :)

so skrg nie,aku ada 3 kucing! n mmg seronok btoll! hehe =D

haircut mengejut!

yayyy! so this is my new haircut! i dont know either i like it or i regret to cut it like this.. hahaha..

well,first,aku decide nk cut my hair sbb weather skrg pnas sgt. n rambot aku plak jenis rmbot yg sgt tebal. so aku rimas! that's y aku g layer rambot aku td.. ahmoii salon tuh x bg nipis kn lagi rmbot aku,dia suruh layer jer.. so aku pown agree lah.

2nd plak,aku skrg mmg dh x suka nk rmbot panjang.. prefer to have short hair. so aku pown x pk byk kali sgt,aku teros lah g salon pg td.. hehehe :)

actually mcm regret lah sket cz rmbot aku dh x bob. nie dh bukan rmbot bob dah cz rmbot aku dh x boolat mcm dlu.. huhuhu

tp xper lah,i dont mind sangat,rmbot aku still akn tumbuh.. n boring lah plak asyik haircut yg sama jer! hehehe :D

well okey,so this is my new haircut.. hope u guys will like it!

MMMMMWAH!

SHOWDOWN 2010

it's so sad.. :(
frankly,im quite disappointed with GBC during the battle session. cz they were more outstandin s a solo dancer rather than s a group. i would like to see them s a group battlin' with the opponent. but overall, yeah, i'm so proud with them! the way they dance, their style, their creativity n of course their attitude. :)

that what makes me so envy with them cz they so fuckin' can DANCE!!!! i wish i can dance like them s well thou they r guys so they r more fit n their skills r more tougher n killer! hehe

whatever it is.. i will always vote for u guys n support u guys! i never stop votin' for u guys cz frm week to week u guys never disappointed me unless for this week,during the battle session. that's all. so, never stop tryin n make us proud peps of GILLER BATTLE CREW ( GBC )

I LOVE U GUYS TO THE TOP! =D

yayyy! saya dapat cupcakes!

ini lah cupcakes saya! my bestfriend, Zulaiha Atikah made it for me.. :)

sangat cantek n yes sangat sedap! :)

hahaha xdpt lah aku nk diet.. mkin gemook lah aku pasni! adoii.. haha aku dh lah pantang tgk cake.. mmg aku bedal jer! xksah lahh.. this is my gift,after this jer lah aku diet balik.. hehe :D

thanks Zue for this cute cupcakes.. sedap btoll! :D
next year bday aku,kau uat cupcakes utk aku lg eh? ehehehe..

I LOVE U ZUE! MMMMWAH!
THESE CUPCAKES BEST!
=D

kuciwa hatiku!

huhuuu.. sedih doh. kasut yg aku nk beli xda. so x dpt lah beli kasut br!! uwaaa~ :(

mula mula aku g cr sneakers nike kt PAVI. aku g search kt DE STADIUM. byk murah tp x menarik hati ku.. hehe then aku g lah NIKE kt sbelah cinema tuh. bukan maen excited aku! hehe..

actually aku dh tertarik ngn satu kasut nie.. mmg cun habis lah! red+black color. and kt side kasot tuh ada red color yg bling bling. hehe.. mmg nice sangat! aku try lah kasot tuh.. kasot tuh sizze 6. n x muat!!! hahaha aku ingt aku still size 6. then aku try 7. 7 pown mcm ketat skit.. hehe. so salesboy tuh tlg cr kn size 7.5 utk aku. seb baek lah nike ada size half half.

but unfortunately, size size besar dh takde. cz kasot tuh selling fast. rmai dh beli.. huhuu sedih gilaa aku. harga kasot tuh mmg mhl sket tp aku dh bkenan sgt! price dia rm279. tp x dpt nk bli jugaak.. huu~ sedih btol.

then aku text kwn aku plak.. tanya kt mana lagi ada NIKE. kwn aku ckp ada kt TIME SQUARE. so aku pown g lah kt TIMES SQUARE cr kasot tuh.. tp xda jugak! hahaha.. NIKE kt TIME SQUARE tuh byk yg old stock jer. yg br x byk sgt.. sedih aku.. then aku try lah yg lain lain kt NIKE tuh,tp mcm mcm hal lah plak! xda size kecik lah,xda size besar lah,n plg kelakar skali.. got this pair of shoes yg colour x sama. color dasar kasot tuh putih,sbelah kasot mmg putih btol,tp lagi sbelah kasot tuh kuning kuning sket! ape kesss!!?? hahaha last last aku blah jerr.. malas dh nk menepek kt situh.. hehe

well,aku try search kt KAPPA jugak. kt cto byk ADIDAS. tp aku kalo boleh x nk dah bli ADIDAS. cz dh pnh try.. this time nk try NIKE plak! hehe.. ada satu kasot ONITSUKA TIGER nie,mmg nice! harga rm300 but got 40% discount. aku try jugak kasot tuh, black+white+purple. nice lah.. tp mayb x cocok ngn aku kowt! kwn aku ckp x seswai ngn aku.. hehe.. thank god aku x bli kasot tuh! :)

so aku pulang lah dgn kehampaan n kekuciwaan! hehe.. lain yg nak lain yg ada.. aku shoppin ZARA n F21 jer smlm.. xda mood nk shoppin yg lain lain cz xdpt nk bli kasot!!! uwaaa~

this friday,insyallah,aku n member aku nk g OU plak.. cr kasot kt sana. n hopefully ada! kalo x da gak,last destination : KLCC! hehe :)

I WONT GIVE UP TILL I GET MY NIKE SNEAKERS! =D

moments :)

hehehe.. rindu gilaa moment ini! bersama apek ini! hahaha.. boyfriend yang sangat sempoi n yeah, till now,he is my bestfriend ever. :)
bila ntah nk lepak lagi ngn apek nie.. bz sangat ngn kerja.. yelah,kumpul duit nak kawen! hehehe

well,fid,i noe u xkan bc blog i cz u kn malas nk bc karangan panjang panjang nie.. hehehe..
but babe,i just wanna tell u that,thanks for everything k? from we were being friends,the get coupled n break n become friends back n closer. :)

i x pnh mnyesal couple n break ngn u,cz yeah,we still good now. thats more important. tiba tiba jer i rindu kt u.. haha thats y teros post blog nie.. hee~
hope u dont mind babe!

ALL THE BEST IN YOUR LIFE APEK!

-much love n respect from me- :)

one more probs added

hahaha i just love it when i already got a probs and a person added it to double it! hehehe...

well td abah tanya aku kasut mcm mana yg aku nak beli kt kl nnti. dia nk tgk. dia nk aku beli kasut yg dia pun berkenan lah tgk.. so aku pon google some of nike highhcut n lowcut n show them to him. hmm.. obviously my daddy didnt like the highcut sneakers. he prefers the lowcut one. n PLUS, he now loves to see the MIDDLECUT sneakers!!! hahahaha

dats what i said,aku dah lah pening nk bli low or high,n now my dad suka plak tgk yg middle cut. hehehe.. kelakar btol. aku tanya my dad,cntek x if bottom skinny jeans tuh masok dalam kasot if kasot tuh jnis highcut. this is what he said :

"ishh.. mcm orang kampung jer.mana ada org pkai mcm tuh."

ekekeke.. tergelak aku. okey,he got his point. :)

actually aku dah suka ngn satu sneakers from nike nie,red+black+white colors. tp kalo x silap aku,lowcut. new arrival. but unfortunately,price dia aku x check bcz at that time sebok jer salesboy tuh ikot ikot aku. mcm lah aku x mampu nk beli! or.. mcm lah aku nak curiik kasot tuh weh! hahaha geram sudaaa.

so aku ingt aku nk bli kasot tuh jerr.. malas nk survey survey lagi. hehe.. chances utk aku bli lowcut is higher than the highcut. bcz ayah aku x suka aku pkai highcut thou its a trend now. hehehe.. kwn kwn aku pkai highcut,aku pown nak jugaaak! :(

but i guess aku kne lupakan lah highcut tuh,xpown next time pown boleh jugak aku rembat highcut tuh! hehehe :D

this is all for u dad! i just wanna make sure that the investment u make is worth it.. hehe :)

things that im gonna buy

1. sneakers (either lowcut or highcut,haven't decided yet) from NIKE
2. leggings from F21
3. a tee from ZARA
4. balerina shoes from NOSE
5. hot pants from COTTON ON
6 . jeans ( either from PULL & BEAR or ZARA )

hmm.. hopefully aku boleh beli semua ini dgn rm300. rm300 from my own money and rm300 from my dad (for the sneakers). but i wish i can reduce the cost for all of this. beli jer mana yg perlu and yg slalu aku pakaii.. hehehe banyak jugak aku akn spent this time.. huhu

well.. Tuesday of 15th June is the day for me to get all of these stuff. hehe. c me there at Pavillion! :)

im crossin' my finger so that i can get a new sneakers from NIKE today.. ahuuuui~ =F

bbq nite!

first of all,sorry guys. no pix r uploaded. hehehe. xsempat. semua excited nk masak n nk makan. x sempat nak snap snap. hehehe..

well.. two words : SANGAT SERONOK! =D

akhirnya tercapai gak niat aku nak uat bbq utk adik adik aku.. dlu pown mmg slalu uat bbq kt umah aku,tp utk kawan kawan abang aku,so adik adik aku x involve. dorg dok dalam umah jer. segan nak keluar join. so this time,this bbq is only for my family n my sibs. not for anyone else for sure. :)
so.. sorry geng geng KRU,because we didnt invite u guys. :)

officially start bakar arang td pown around 8pm. agak lama lah jugaak nak setup api and bbq set tuh. tuh semua abang aku handle.. once dah siap,ayam ayam tuh aku n adik adik lelaki aku yang bakar. drumstick n wings : 20pieces. hotdogs : 28pieces. enough for everyone.

aku buat semua nie pown cz cuti sekolah kali nie aku and family x plan nk holiday mana mana. so thats y buat bbq nie so that adik adik aku x bosan dok umah.. at least they got their own event. hehe.. n aku plak mmg suka uat uat keje macam nie.. so,yeah. SANGAT BEST! hehehe :)

well lastly, s long the event is involvin' my family then yeah,i guess i will definitely enjoyin' myself to the fullest!!! =D

injured! hahaha

tanggal 9/6/2010,aku telah ditimpa kecelakaan d dpur. time aku nk bukak fridge kt dpur tuh,tup tup aku GEDEBUUUK! jatuh atas lantai.. hahaha gilaa ah! sakiit nak matii.. semua nya gara gara adik aku x lap air tumpah ngn btoll kt depan fridge tuh.. huhuu last last aku yg jd mangsa. kaki kanan aku nie dh lah cacat,di tambah plak ngn bengkak n lebam kt lutut kanan aku nie.. so mmg makin jatuh lah harga hantaran aku nnti! HAHAHA tp thank god lah,aku yg jatuh,cuba korg bayang kn kalau nenek aku yg jtoh.. pergh! xsnggup aku nk bayang kan.. kecian ohh! so,korg pown kecian kn lah kt aku nie yerr.. hehehe

maybe it's time

maybe it's time for me to open my heart for someone else.. :)

stop puzzlin' me!

this one goes to a guy that i hve known for a very long time. i knew this guy when i was 18 i guess.. or early 19. he used to be my lover. but only for a month,perhaps. after then we broke up. i can't stand his mouth. fulls of shit words! hehehe..

but after we broke up, we still become friends n much more closer than before.. sorry for my exs later on,cz i still contact with this fella i still got feelings for him. hee~ naughty me! :p

n yes,till now i still contact with this fella. n i dont know y i cant let him go. i feel guilty for being his friend but i still in love with him. well i dont know if this what u called love. but what i feel rite now is that there's like something tied us together. we r like magnet! we cant be apart. whenever he decide to leave me,he leaves me only for at least for few weeks. plg lama pun maybe a month.. after that he will come n find me. he starts to text me n called. i never feel gross towards him. thou he always sayin shit words to me like "bodoh" n "babi". i know that he only gonna say this words when he really mad at me! really fuckin' mad at me!!!

yg aku x tahan psal die nie.. die suka main teka teki ngn aku. kejap die uat aku pk yg die nk kt aku.. tp kejap lg die uat aku pk mcm,

"alah,die nie saja jer nk maen maen kn perasaan aku.."

aku pk mcm nie sbb die pnh ckp kt aku yg die x ready nk ada commitment ngn aku. so.. izit a good feedback or not?? its not a good one rite? huhuuu
aku mmg x phm apa die nk dr aku.. what he expects from me? my love? or what?

he used to sing to me "kekasih gelapku", "blind" n "one more sad song". lyrics lagu lagu nie mmg sweet sangat. got a very deep meanin'. meanin' yg die nk stay ngn aku.. yg dia sayang aku all this while n still in love with me.. everytime aku dgr lagu lagu nie,aku mesti ingt kt die..

n aku pernah mnangis time karaoke lagu "kekasih gelapku". cz rinduuu sangat kt die.. n teringat kt die!

tp tuh lah,he never said this to me

"nadia,will u be my girlfriend once again?"

tp kan,kalo dia propose aku pown,aku x sure aku nk kt die ker x.. afraid of the same thing repeated again! huhuuu~
so skrg aku just ignore benda nie.. i dont take it serious. cz bilaa dh involve bab hati n perasaan,everything will change. so i rather to stay like this n being his forever friend.. mmg aku sayang dia,so dats y aku lg rela aku n dia mcm nie sahaja.. :)

rockin' ulu yam!

06 . 06 . 2010

hari ini dalam sejarah. for the first time my lil sista, alya qistina has gone to picnic at the river. ulu yam river! hehehe.. alya x penah mandi sungai pun b4 this,so this is her first time. n seems like she's so excited and havin' so much fun! :)

abah plak,sombong,x nk bwk sluar mandi.. kn dah x dpt join anak2 n wifey die mandi!! hehehe..
abah n wan just watchin us from far jer. xdpt nk terjun sama sama! haha..

i m so excited cz dh dpt tunai kn janji aku kat alya. aku dh janji kat dia yg nk bwk dia mandi sungai.. so dh tercapai lah hasrat dia n i've made my promise! :)

i will never forget this memorable moment we had together.. i love u all fuckin' much!!! mmmuah!!! =D

i'll make sure i have one of this for my KASUT RAYA! yayyy! =D

JAKE GYLLENHAAL

( : MY BIGGEST CRUSH EVER!!! :)

kelakar betol!

td aku tersalah call 1 number nie. so that fella call aku balik... so this is the conversation :

him : hello?
me : yes.
him : td awak call number nie kan?
me : a'ah. hmm.. sorry,saya tersalah number lah.
him : oh yeke?
me : yup. sorry..
him : oh,its okey..
me : okey lah,sorry once again. bye.
him : oh okey okey.. bye..

nie coversation yg pertama. but after a few minutes,he called me back!

him : assalamualaikum?
me : yes? (pndai btol aku,org bg salam,x reti nk jwb.. haha)
him : maaf lah kalo saya telefon nie. tp boleh x saya nk tanya someting?
me : errr.. yes?
him : kenapa awak boleh tersalah number eh?
me : ohh.. hmm.. number phone awak ada no 8 kn? number kwn saya ada no 6. bukan 8. thats y tersalah tekan tadi.. so sorry..
him : ohh okeyy.. hmmm.. kalau awk x kisah,saya nk tau awak tinggal kt mana..?
me : err.. kenapa eh awak nk tao?
him : saja jer.. kalo boleh saya nk BERKENALAN dgn awk.. (sempat lagi kauuu!!) kalo awak x de bf ker or x kawin lagi ker..
me : oh.. maaflah,saya dah BERKAHWIN!
him : oh yeke?? maaf maaf yer.. okey lah,bye.
me : okey.. bye.

HAHAHAHA the biggest lie ive ever made!!! ekekeke.. lepas aku jwb phone call tuh aku trus tergelak kaw kaw pnya! hahaha ape pnya jantan lah.. desperate sgt nk berkwn. asal silap call jer,trus nk cucuk jarum! ape daaa.. come on ah! hahaha tp kn,suara die not bad lah. suara laki sejati! haha. tp sorry.. WRONG NUMBER! HAHA =p

dalam dilemma

apa yg guys pndang pd seorg girl eh? izit her looks? her style? her hair? her smile? or her heart?
how can a man see a girl's heart? hmmm.. confused. y ada certain guys suka sgt girl die look so very hot! n some guys suka girl yg simple simple n biasa jer. which one is better? its very unfair to say that a hot guy with a hot chick are bound together only just for SEX! its not true. ive seen the real one. n it is so naive to say that all bertudung girls r nice. NAH! NOPE! some of them r worst than the sexy girls. so what makes two persons become one? n what makes them stay together?

aku sbenar nya dalam dilemma jugaak lah. aku admit yg aku nie mmg suka dress sexy. i love to wear sexy outfit like mini skirt n mini dress. dat's me. thou some say that "nadia,b urself." hey! this is myself! im being me! bila aku mcm nie org cop aku mcm2.. perempuan club,alcoholic,playgirl n so many more. padahal aku bukan tuh sume.. dr outfit aku,org judge aku yg bukan. pdahal aku suka pkai mcm nie cz i love fashion. dont talk bout sins to me. every peps r sinners. its just the matter of tiny or big sins. i admit that i dont have the confident to hangout or to go out whenever im not sexy. hehehe. stupid rite? yeah,i guess. hehehe..

so,smpai skrg lah aku terpk,y certain guys suka girl nya hot n y certain guys prefer simple girl to b his queen of heart. hehe.. they must have their own reason. but for me,i hope my dream guy will b able to accept me for who i m. for who i m now n will not take me for granted. i m so excited waitin for my prince charming! :)

that person

i realised that we were no longer closed like b4. u change. i change. n yes,i admit that i miss our old sweet moments together. we did have fun together but it only stays for a while. i dun exactly know what happened,suddenly,we tear apart. u,with ur own life. n me,with my own life s well. i'm not blamin u 100% for what had happened between us,but i regret that all this while u were never sincere to be my friend. frankly,i love u. u r nice to me. ops,sorry. u WERE nice to me. i never tot that u will turn ur back on me. u were talking crap with the other friends. for what? y u must do dat? what did i do to u? i've never lie to u. i've never steal any of ur guy friends n it was never cross at my mind at all! so,how could u?

from day to day,i try to forgive u n to forget every single shit things u did to me. but it seems like,u create more drama than before. n now,its not just me that avoiding u,but some. u should realised ur mistakes. dont pretend like u know everything n dont ever lie. cz yes,we r no longer believe in ur crappy talks. i feel pity for u,u got everything,but zero attitude. when we dont know about a thing,doesn't mean we r stupid. we r not perfect,we dont know everything. so its okey to admit "no,i dont about that" rather than "oh,ya ya,i know that.. that thing that..bla..bla..bla..". u make urself look dumb. n thats pathetic.

we love u for who u r babe. not for who u r tryin to be. be grateful for what u have. every peps in this world have their own strength,so do u. i just wish u can open ur eyes n open ur heart to change. i just dont want u to look awful in other peps eyes. hope u get what i mean. all the best to u.. may god bless u! i still love u no matter what.. :)

empty. hate. hurt. disappointed.

i can't even know how to describe what i feel rite now. it's all mix up. i m so tired of what happenin to my life lately. lots of things happened n i dont know for how long this thing is goin to continue n when it will stop. ive done my best for them. but still,i can't satisfy them. i don't know what r they expectin from me. it seems like they dont like me for who i m now. they r not acceptin me,the real me. all they can do is controllin my life n RUININ it!!! for god sake. y can't they b like others that have an open minded mind. u guys keep on torturin me. guys,the cuts u give me have given my heart a very very deep scars. n i dont know when that scars will heal. or it wont heal at all? i dont feel like im at home rite. u guys seems like strangers to me. we r fallin apart. we r no longer like we used to be. we've change. TO WORST! all i can do now,is keep on breathin thou ive tried so many time to stop breathin,for real. n yes,i m givin up with myself n u guys s well. we're done. n i nid my time to b alone without u guys with me anymore.. cz.. i dont feel like i can stay much longer with u guys again. all i feel rite now is hurt. n i nid my time to heal. i'm sorry. i'm choosin this way. which is avoidin from u guys..

hey!!
i LIKE u okey??
don't u get it??!!
FOR GOD SAKE!
OPEN UR EYES!!!
=D

I WANNA GO CRAZY!!!!!!

overdose

yes,perangai lama aku dh kembali semula. previously,i used to b a pill addicted. bkn pill jer,tp ubt batuk jgak. dh lama aku stop sume tuh. but now,i tink i m becomin the old one.
aku dh mula addict ngn ubt batuk. bukan aku suka suka jer nk teguk ubat batuk tuh sampai overdose,tp aku sangat sangat tension lately. aku x tao nk buat apa. yeah,org akn ckp yg buat bnda bodoh nie mmg xkn settle kn any probs. but when i share my probs to other peps,even to my family,but still it cant b resolved. so ? whats the diff babe? bila org org yg rpt dgn aku dh x boleh nk d percayai so aku rs im livin in this world on my own. i got no one with me. im alone. dats y aku terjebak dgn sume nie blk. :(

mlm td aku depressed gilaa,with everything. aku snggup keluar dr blik,trun g kt hall,msok dpur,bukak peti ais n cr ubat batuk nie. aku even mngamuk bila aku x jmpe ubat batuk nie. terok kn? kronik rite? yes man,i m totally a freak n so much worst than before. its true,when we smile peps always tot that we r happy but what they dont know is that deep in myself im suffering. banyak sgt hal yg mlanda dri aku skrg. n i dont noe if aku boleh ke x hadapi sume nie..

mlm td after aku teguk ubat batuk tuh,aku dh redha. if aku x dpt nk bukak mata aku lg sok nya,aku rela. sbb aku dh give up sangat dgn life aku nie. aku dh x rs happy dgn life aku. wpun aku slalu buat bnda2 yg boleh happy kn aku. aku tao aku dh brubah. kpd yg lebih teruk. but i wont blame my environment. i blame to my past. the past that keep on haunted me. bila masa lalu aku bmasalah sikit sbanyak ia effect present aku n future aku. hidup aku x sebahagia yg korg sangka. it fulls of pain n suffer. less happiness. dats for sure. :)

n skrg,aku x tao utk apa aku hidop. my life becomes complicated from day to day. n its gettin worst! dammit~ i wish i cn turn back time so that i wont become like this. a unhappy girl.
so aku nk advice korg,jgn lah tjebak ngn sume nie. cz its not easy to b on the right track back. its damn hard babe! serioushit. so, mke sure life korg,korg yg tentu kn n dont let others to control 100% on ur life. or u guys will ends up to b like me. sufferin! enjoy ur life to the fullest while u still cn. :)

P terbaeek!

hehehehe.. excited habiss!! hahaha x sangka gilaa aku boleh pass jpj test hari nie. hehe. mmg surprisin' lah. but yet,yeah,im so grateful. x sia2 jgak lah aku reg drivin class kt metrodrivin academy. :)

actually aku mmg x expect nk pass pun td,cz aku mmg byk gilaa buat silaap! on the track,aku dh salah ikot jalan. on the road plak,aku maen masuk je jln org,wpun bg signal,tp aku x tgk kete blakang or tepi kete aku. hehehe.. n yeah,jpj officer tuh lecture macam2 jgaak lah kt aku.. dlm kete time tuh aku mmg ingat dh nk fail dh nie,cmfirm!! tup tup bilaa die bg aku borang test tuh,tekejot aku! aku dapat 18/20!!! hahaha quite high jugak lah. mmg byk kali aku cakap thanks kt jpj officer tuh,cz aku sendiri x caya aku boleh pass ngn the way i drove the car at tht moment. hehehe.. but yeah,i did it well! :)

family aku pn x caya aku pass td. hehe. adik aku,si apit,siap ckp mcm nie :

"alah,kakya goda org jpj tuh,dat's y lah lulus!"

hahaha mmg x lah adek oii! kau ingat kakak kau nie senang2 jer ke nk goda2 org.. ohhoho! mmg x okey ? i just being friendly with that jpj officer. cz die pun borak2 ngn aku. x kan aku nk buat sombong plak.. rite? dia siap boleh buat lawak plak kt dlm kete tuh,seb baek lah aku boleh cntrol lg time tuh.. hehe..

so,rite now aku dh sangat lega. x pyh dh nk pening2 pk psal lesen kete. x pyh nk dgr parentz aku pot pet pasal lesen kete lg! hehehe.. parents aku pun excited bilaa aku dh dpt lesen P nie.. n dorg dh siap lantik aku jd the new driver in my family! hahaha.. boleh caya ke kakya drive kete nie? ehehehe.. yahoo!! im so relieved n excited now! this shud come along with a celebration!!! yabedabeduuu~ :D

drama dunia.

well,lately,i realised that byk tol dugaan yg menimpa aku. after one another. mcm2 lahh.. smpai kn aku sendri x dpt nk berpk ngn WARAS. almost insane jgak lah aku nie. mcm2 yg aku pk. psal family,friends. love? so far love stuff is on the bottom. on top,FRIENDS. :(
aku dh give up lah dgn ragam kawan kawan aku kt aku. the way they treat me,the way they stab me. smpai kn aku nk marah,dh x boleh. dh xda api marah dalam hati aku nie. apa yg aku rs cuma kesal. kesal ngn some of my so-called friends actions. apa salah aku kt korg eh? babe,if korg x suka attitude aku,attire aku,the way i talk,just b frank with me. salah aku mmg aku x nampak. korg yg menilai aku,yg nampak attitude aku,so u tell me whats wrong with me. what makes u guys hate me so much! apasal aku nk mrh plak kalo korg b frank ngn aku? btol x? dr korg ckp2 blakang aku,pastu makin' ur own speculations bout me,its better u guys come clean with me. heart to heart. xde lah korg nk pk bkn2 psal aku n aku pn xda nya nk anti kat korg. okey?

lg satu msalah nya skrg,aku rs aku dh ada reporter kt pge fb aku. yg mngadu everything yg happened kt page aku kt ex aku. wtf!!? get a life lah babe. korg advice aku suruh move on,n whn im move on u guys talk bad shit bout me. wth? dgr sini okey,aku dh x kisah lah ngn hidup ex aku tuh. biar lah die nk buat apa pun. die pun x pnh kisah ngn apa yg jd kt aku. so,yg korg over sangat nk report itu ini kt die apehal? to make me look bad? to make me look like a mean girl? apa msalah korg nie? ish. come on ah. please stop this stupid reportin stuff okey? u make urself look like a very terrible friend. serioushit! jgn sbb lelaki,our friendship tunggang langgang babe. die bkn hebat pun,so i dont give a damn at all.

so,after this aku mmg kne berhati hati bila nk berkwn. cz sekrg,aku realise that mmg x boleh nk percaya semua kawan kawan aku. cz certain friends aku nie berkwn ngn aku ada niat. niat busuuk! keji sial. n aku plg trasa ngn attitude kwn kwn aku mcm nie.. aku bg trust aku kt korg,tp korg betray aku. sedih gilaa! tp xper,aku biar kn korg dgn game korg. tp,kalo korg terus terusan nk jd mcm nie,so i guess, x pyh dh lah nk jd friends aku k? i dont need this kind of peps to b my friends. aku bkn jenis nk penuhkn friendlist aku,either in fb or in reality. this is the fact i hve to face. n with all this,it makes me strong. n buat hati aku makin berair,xberapi mcm dlu lg.. so,thank you.

kawan makan kawan :)

sakit.. sangat.. tp ini lah dunia. n dlm dunia nie,ini lah yg some of human being love to do. betray his/her own friend. for his/her own good. so fuckin' selfish!!! bgus lah apa yg kau buat kt aku nie.. ntah lah babe,aku dh xtao nk rs apa. mrk ke sedih ke cemburu ke? ntah lahh.. apa lahh salah aku kt kau smpai kau buat aku mcm niie? apa masalah kau dgn aku? aku nie ganggu idop kau ke slama nie? selama nie aku percaya dekat kau,share everything dgn kau tp kau stab aku kn? nice! aku x bengang dengan apa yg kau buat kt aku skrg,tp aku terkilan,kau org yg aku trust sgup khianat aku.. KHIANAT!! mintak2 tuhan yg esa nie,LAKHNAT kau! takot x?? tp time kau KHIANAT aku,kau x tkot pun kn? apa punya manusia lah kau nie.. aku terkilan dgn kau sbb kau x respect aku s ur friend. ur own friend babe! oh my god. aku ingt aku x kn kne betray ngn kwn2 aku sndri,but congrats,u're the first!! if ini yg kau nak.. go ahead lah babe. aku xde kne mngena ngn idop kau dh.. aku trust kau slama nie,tp ini yg aku dapat kn? so x pyh lah aku nak layan kau dgn baek lg.. oke? for whom this may concern,bukak lah mata,bukak lah hati. kau x hebat mana pun. :)

there he goes..

huhuuu im kinda sad actually rite now. the guy that im interested in is no longer available. i guess he's with somebody else rite now! uwaaa! y cepat sgt die dpt peganti? die x tao ker aku suka kt die all this while? haha.. its ok lah, i hve to deal with it. myb i m not for him. well,im happy for him too. cz he already has someone with him! :)
i really wanna c him to b happy. thou not with me. :)
he helps me a lot,n i know i can't pay back of all the good things he has done for me. n now,i'm glad he's happy with his girl. :)

well,actually,i dont exactly know either he already has a girl or not, because he didnt change his relationship status at his fb. he still "single". hehehe..
i dont care lah,s long he still with me thou only s a friend. n a guardian. :)
we will never be apart again. promise! hehehee.. <3 <3 <3

tonite...

ape lagi yang kau nak dr aku? kau yg tinggal kn aku. aku x pernah minx d lepaskn. n skrg kau hina aku,dpn kwn2 kau,kwn2 aku. kenapa kasih syg yg kita bina slama nie dh btukar jd benci? jd dendam? after kita break, kau boleh lg bermanja ngn prempuan lain kt pge kau. aku tgu kau msj aku,ada kau msj? even once? kau teros msj perempuan lain kn? smpai skrg aku ingt. "nk majok lah.. i msj u,u x reply". kalo kau kt tmpat aku, kau rs x ape yg aku rs? semalaman aku tgu kau msj,msj jer,x harap kau call,tp kau msj prempuan lain. kn??? itu yg kau ckp kau cinta sgt dkat aku?hmm .. is that what u called love?

kau jgn ingat kau hebat sgt.. kawan2 yg rpt dgn kau,dorg tao prangai sbenar kau n dorg snggup jujur ngn aku.. laki n prempuan. so kau expect aku x kn pcaya ckp dorg? aku snggup pcaya ckp dorg dr ckp buaya mcm kau!!! sayang,keluarga kau baek,aku rs dord dh bg didikan yg ckup utk kau,tp kau tkde akal utk berfikir. aku tao kau x warak,kau jrg solat. jgn kau tanya siapa yg bgtahu aku semua nie. tanya lah kwn2 kau,brapa kali aku nanges dpn dorg,aku minx pndpt dorg mcm mne nk jd gf yg baek utk kau. sbb aku berharap idop dgn kau. aku bg seluruh jiwa aku kt kau.. utk kau simpan,utk kau hargai. tp kau x pnh rs apa yg aku rs.

mmg aku kuat cemburu,cemburu buta. tp ada kau pk knapa? mmg aku ada ckp,aku x kisah dgn ms lepas kau.. tp mkin lama aku makin curiga. smpai aku stalk kau,n habis 1 fb kau aku bc. bukan sorg bukan 2 org kau dh pnh maenkn prasaan,tp banyak. kenapa? kenapa kau mesti nk maen kn prasaan perempuan? kau x pk ke ape yg dorg rs? kalo kau ada adk prempuan,n dorg buat adk kau mcm nie,apa agak2 kau nk buat? tengok jer. rs happy ke bila adik kau kne mcm nie?

aku bodoh sangat sbb terlalu percaya kt kau.. terlalu mudah bg cinta aku dekat kau. kau cuma main kan prasaan aku. kau musnahkn impian yg kau cipta sndri. kau bg harapan palsu kt aku.. slama aku dgn kau,aku rs kau malu sgt bila dgn aku. kau xnk pegang tgn aku. alasan kau? kau dh biasa mcm nie. if aku snggup berubah demi kau,knapa kau x? kau hypocrite dgn aku!! dalam hati kau x pnh ada aku kn? gambar kita,aku dh bakar. kau bakar lah gambar yg aku pnh bg kat kau. dlu pun kau malu nk letak gambar aku dlm wallet kau. so x hairan pun kalo kau nk bakar gambar tuh skrg.. still the same.

"hidup aku lebih bahagia dgn ketiadaan perempuan itu." aku tao kau mmg bahagia tanpa aku. sbb kau boleh bersayang dgn semua prempuan. kau sgt murah dengan prempuan prempuan tuh. frankly,kau yg kt fb x sama dgn kau yg in reality. aku pnh jd gf kau,so aku tao kau nie macam mana! aku dh dgr byk sgt crita psal kau. n mostly negative. n negative plak sgt tepat! sgt mencirikan diri kau! kau hanya brani bersuara kt fb. kt depan aku,kau brani ke? even aku call kau time kita break tuh,kau x brani jwb. alasan kau? kau dalam clss lah. kau mls nk dgr suara yg hina kau lah. aku tau kau mmg CHICKEN! kau bukan lelaki yg berani.

n yes! aku gembira sbb aku x bersama lelaki CHICKEN!

aku berterima kasih dekat kau. sbb kau buat aku sedar jenis2 laki kt dunia nie.. n kebanyakan nya mmg haprak mcm kau. kau ingt dgn status kau kt fb tuh,aku takot? aku boleh lawan dgn kau kalo itu yg kau nak. i dont need any weapons to kill u,i cn only use my TONGUE! MY WORDS! n i mke sure u r goin down u idiot. org yg aku pnh sayang,yg aku pnh cinta,in the end jd musuh aku sendiri.. kau musuh lelaki pertama aku! sampai mati aku x kn lupa kn kau. kau pnh ckp kau maafkn aku,tp lepas apa yg kau tulis kt status kau tuh,tuh tandanya kau maaf kn aku? kau pun butar belit. serioushit,siapa yg stay dengan kau mmg malang. sayang,umor kau dh 23. tp prangai kau x langsung mcm 23. u r such a kid!

kau nk teros berdendam dgn aku.. go ahead. i let u win this time. cz i got no time to waste for a guy like u. aku dh bahagia sekrg. being with u was a WASTE! goodluck with ur LIES.

to the girls yg rpt ngn mamat nie,just be careful. aku bgtau nie bkn sbb aku cemburu,langsung x,aku cuma xnk kau tertipu,n akhirnya kau berdendam dgn dia n kau dh x mula percaya dekat lelaki. tactic die sng,ayt2 manis die. sbb aku pun dlu cair ngn die sbb ayt bodoh die tuh. aku tao korg x kn pcaya apa yg aku ckp. up to u girls. u girls r big enuff to think n to judge. kalo si mamat nie x bg big impact dlm idop aku,aku x kn post blog nie.

kau hina aku dgn status kau kn? aku balas d blog aku. aku x larat nk layan BUDAK mcm kau. even my lil sis,8 yrs old girl,noe how to think,rather than u! pathetic. -the end

break your heart - taio cruz

if u fall for me
i'm not easy to pleased
i might tear u apart
i told u from the start
baby, from the start
i'm only gonna break break n break break ur heart

hahaha damn! i love this lyric fuckin' much! it suits me well!! haha :D
im not goin to let other guys outside there to easily get me. no no no. u gotta try harder baby! because previously,i gave my love so damn easy n im not gonna repeat it again this time.. if u wanna me to b with u n if u wanna my love,planned well. use smart strategies n never ever b a LOSER ! okey ?

oh oh.. it comes again!

oh oh.. dalam diam aku ada perasaan kt si dia? oh shit man! is it for real??? hohohoho..
okey,its just that i like him oke! nothing more.. i guess! hehehe =)
i dont wanna tell him what i feel for him. cz it will b so embarrassed for me!! hahaha
so i think,i just keep it for myself.
i like this feelin'. n yeah,it's okey if i'm not goin to b his gf in reality.. hehe :)
ohh god, let him stay here with me.. s my closest friend.. :)

SERABOOT!

hari ini otak aku serabot sangat. n skali lagi,yes,sbb ex aku yg x brapa nk pandai tuhh.. i tot he has change. but i was wrong,he will never change.. i dont know what he wants in his life. the only thing he knows to do is playin with a girl's heart! stupid betoll.. kau nie baek x pyh jd laki lah,u mke urself look like a LOSER! sebab kau aku mkin mnyampah dgn gelagat certain of guys tao x? korg nie sama jer! yg korg tao guna ayt manis to mke u guys look so hot? but for me,hahaha.. u guys look so CHEAP & DESPERADO! bloody idiot.

one thing i shud thank u is becoz u open my eyes,n mke me to not easily trust in guys especially when it comes to love. yeah, i did feel fishy when i was ur gf n when i was around you. ur attitude was awkward n odd. but i didnt realised back then. only now i discover the truth! n yes, u sucks man!! hahaha

otak aku sangat serabot skrg sbb aku x boleh nk trime lelaki yg nk kt aku skrg nie.. lelaki yg nk bg kasih sayang or so-called CINTA dia kt aku.. aku kecian kt die.. aku marah kt diri aku, because i was haunted by my past. sbb cinta aku yg sucks,effect dri aku yg skrg. n yes, skrg aku betol2 rs mcm RIA QISTINA,gadis yg sangat2 benci kn cinta. n x pcaya pd cinta. dlu,aku nk sgt jd mcm die,tp x boleh sbb aku terlalu ingin dicintai n mencintai. tp skrg,lepas mcm2 dh aku alami with my exs,aku rs rimas n stupid sangat sbb sng sgt fall in love with guys. n in the end,i suffered myself n put the blames on others.

my friends always said to me tht i hve to move on.. but guys,its not easy to move on without thinkin wht had happened to me previously. i dont want the same thing happened to my future. yeah, maybe i was thinkin too much. its because i dont wanna hurt anyone else. i hve to think bout myself n him s well.. i wasnt being selfish for not accpetin other guy's love,but i just can't let myself to b loved by him n i cant love him like he did to me! efforts from one part r not worth it. both have to take actions.

aku mengaku yg skrg nie aku mmg ada shortlist some guys yg aku terpk utk couple. n yes, i do LIKE them! but whn it comes to the matter of love,i dont think i cn love them back. aku mmg suka dgn some of my guy friends n intend to b more than just friends,but not now. thats y aku berkwn jer dgn dorg skrg.. aku x mao commitment skrg. sbb dri aku sndri x ok,mcm mne nk havin another person in my life?

dats y sekrg nie aku slalu sakit kepala.. mcm2 yg aku pk.. aku xboleh kalo x pk hal nie,thou for u guys it may looks so simple n no need to think bout it. but not to me.. i wish i cn forget everything bad tht happens in my life. cz it gves so much pain to me.. seriously,otak aku sakiiit wehh!! :(

menanti detik 12.30pm

HAHAHA

menjadi RACER jalanan sementara waktu !

RACER lah sangat, kau.

HAHAHAHA

pelepas geram!

bila kawan2 aku bad mood or moody rasa-rasa nya aku lah tempat dorg lepas kn dorg.. dengan tiba-tiba! aku ponn x tao knapa kwn2 aku yg mcm nie lepas kn marah or geram diorg kt aku.. kenapa eh? sebab aku nmpak lembot? sbb slama nie ape dorg ckp aku yer kn jer? sbb aku x pnh nk sound-sound dorg or marah kn dorg dgn spenuh hati aku??? kadang-kadang aku terkilan jgak dgn attitude kwn2 aku yg mcm nie. korg bila ada msalah,bila tgh bengang lepaskn kt aku! korg ingt aku nie xda prasaan ker? aku ker yg buat korg bengang? org lain yg buat taek kt korg,aku plak yg kne.. that's very fair of u!

aku dh mls nk bertelagah ngn korg yg aku still anggap sbg kwn. korg nk lepaskn geram kt aku go ahead lah.. sbb time korg ssh mmg korg cr aku pnya. xpyh aku nk g cr korg.. tp ingat lah kwn2 ku,jgn slalu buat org lain mcm nie. lama2 org akn naek mnyampah ngn prangai korg n dh mls nk rpt ngn korg dh.. aku ponn dh trasa mcm tuh! bila ngn aku jerr nk emo. ngn bdk2 lain x brani plak kau nk let go anger kau tuh,kt aku jgak kau buat kn? terima kasih sgt lah. nie aku dpt sbb jd kwn kau slama nie.. its oke babe. aku redha. kdg2 ponn aku dh give up dgn mainan dunia nie. tp aku still move on to live. xkn sbb org2 mcm korg aku nk pissed off kt kwn2 aku yg lain plak.. mmg x lah kn!

for whom it may concern, berubahlah! kau slalu ada msalah sbb kau tuh yg bmasalah.. n please,don't involve other peps in ur probs too. its a very stupid action! kau lg kuat agama dr aku,so i guess u shud know how to control ur anger n ur emotions. berubah oke? cz aku xnk terus-terusan jd mangsa kemarahan kau! RIMAS tao x????? THANK YOU.

my type :)

well this post goes to some of my friends that keep on askin' me what type of guy that interest me n will bcome my next boyfriend.. my answer is..

has a very pleased look. i love to stare into his eyes when i talk to him.
hygiene priority. especially his nails n fingers.
so so so taller than me! so that i can wear heels whn im with him. =)
very fashionable. up to date lahh.. xmao slekeh sangat. hehe.
share susah n senang together with me.
he treats me like his own bestfriend,not just a gf.
kalo boleh nk yg, non-smokin. but if he's a smoker,i wudn't mind. macho! haha
his life is stabilize. i prefer a workin' man actually.
well,for now i tink i nid someone that is much more older than me. younger? idts.. =)
tahu selok-belok agama.
respect my parents n me s well.
respect my social life,cz i love to hangout with my buddies.
accept me for who i m, a sexy girl. hehehe
last but not least,a faithful,honest n loyal guy.cz i damn hate HYPOCRITE N LIARS!!!

so.. these r some of the characteristics that i look in a guy for now. n so far i haven't met one yet. i akn update these characteristics from time to time.. oke? hee.. have fun readin!

i dont know..

i dont know what's happenin' to us. y u act this way with me? wht have i done to u?
if i done somethin bad to u please let me know. cz rite now,i dont know what r my mistakes to u.. y u suddenly b so cold to me? i m comfortable being ur friend. there's nothing more i want from u. please stop this question mark. just spit out what was in ur mind n tell me.. u mke me feel bad. n i don't like this feeling..

im sorry if ive hurt u.. i didn't mean it,my friend.. :)
have a lovely day! =)

y should i trust u? rite?

yes,i tot u r diff frm other guys ive known. but then,i realised that u r just s same s other jerks outside there that r so cheap with sweet words. i don't know what's wrong with u peps tht like to use 'darling','honey','sweetheart','baby','SAYANG' to call other girls. is that normal for u guys or it's not normal for me???

i call al my friends babe. cz for me,its just a called-name. n i only call "SAYANG" to my girl friends. not my guy friends. so i guess we both r diff in callin our friends rite? i noe i wasn't the best for u n yes, i guess u r not the best for me either. all this while u make me believe in u n tot u r so far diff from other men,but i guess i was wrong. i shouldn't think only good things bout u. cz in this world, peps have good n bad side. n u too! u give me hope to love u,but all i feel right now is DISGUST! u're disgust me!

i'm sorry cz i don't wanna be with u. u mke me hate guy's love even more! y? if u love me,if u really wanna me to b ur girl,u shud start the action. wht do u expect from me? i'm not that kind of girl that will start the first move. yes,i m an old-fashioned type of girl when it comes to love. if u dont start the first move,u'll loose me. easy! i'm not goin to wait for u after this.. enough is enough with all ur shit-love for me! i've no respect for u.. u r just the same,same!

i leave this to god..

will i ever hve the power to control someone? is it fair enough? thou we r just friends rite now,but i dont know y i get jealous whenever that fella were so friendly with other chicks. yeah, this is my biggest fear. i'm so afraid to fall in love because of this. i don't wanna be a controller in someone's life. y is it so hard for me to trust my boy? why why why? i can't have him fully. he's not mine yet. we r still not bounded by a legal relationship. seriously, i hate this feelin.

thou i said so many times that i don't wanna be in love with anyone rite now,but deep inside my heart,i wanna b someone's lover. i want to! its like this,one body with two souls,two persons controllin' a body. one part of me,wanted so much to fall in love again. another one,"nadia.. love is a bullshit! u will never get a true love.. all u will gain is PAIN cz guys shudnt be trusted." so, whenever this thought came into my mind,straight away i pull myself back from fallin' in love with any man. only god know hows it feels like..

yeah,its easy for other peps to say "u havent met the right one,all this while u were bump into jerks,who's takin advantage on u". y must this kind of guys treat me this way? is it because of my JEALOUSY? if u guys really love me like u always said,y can't u change me? change my mentality? n straight away change my jealousy disease. i realised one thing bout my previous exs,i had so much fun when we were friends,but when we further to the next level,we've changed ourselves totally. we r not like we used to be.

so from there,i knew,that no guys will understand me. will being able to change me. to a better person. i can't help myself on my own. n sometimes,i need guidance. but unfortunate for me,the RIGHT GUY for mw r not here yet. n i don't know who will it be. n when will he appears in my life. all i cn do now is just,wait. n keep on waitin. cz its impossible for me to search my right guy. i just wish the right guy for me doesnt appears now,cz seriously,i m so not into this serious relationship stuff yet.

i just wanna be alone.. i don't mind to be called a lonely girl. because when i were two,i feel alone s well.. so what's the diff? i'm lookin forward to a bright life,with a great fortune,n yeah,with the one who loves me for who i m. :)

the THING called LOVE.

CINTA SEORANG KEKASIH,APAKAH? cinta yg manusia agung2 kn,yg manusia kejar2 kn.. yeah, i was one these kind of peps b4. i was so wanted to hve my true love n i was hopin' so much for it but then i was being smack by this LOVE in the end. so wht for i want this love now? y must i love some1 n gve my precious love to some1? cz all tht i get is pain,grudge,n hurt. i've faced it so many times, so i know how it feels like to b betrayed by the one who u love. n that's y i dont need a GUY'S LOVE anymore. cz i know the same thing will happen to me. i can't see any beauty in the love that most couple wanted. y must we get suffered for the one tht we love so much? n y must our partner hurt us like they got no feelings at all by doin' it?

i cant' love anyone rite now. any guy. or a guy. i can't. thou how much i need his love so badly,but i have to pull back myself. because i know, when he's with me, all i cn gve to him is hurt. n s time goes by, that love will change into HATRED. yes. im tellin u the truth. i don't want my love to b suffered with me. yes,i rather to let him free n b with some1 else rather than seeing him suffering with me. y shud i gve a man another chance but in the end it will b a big mistake for both of us. love ain't always pretty. n that's for sure. n that's what i've been through now.

whenever boys ask me to b their lover,all that came into my mind was " u deserve some1 much better than me. not this evil person. not this bad girl ". in my heart,i can't feel any love. so how come i wanna love u like what u expected frm me. i can't!!! because.. I HATE LOVE. I HATE A GUY'S LOVE. this life is not like in the fantasy love story like we've been told during our childhood. this is the REALITY! n love ain't always pretty s it sounds like..

ive closed my heart to love any guy. all i need rite now is my FRIENDS. even a bf can't help u like FRIENDS do. i rather sacrifice myself for my friends than sacrifice my precious love to the one who is just pretendin to love me..
I CAN'T LOVE U LIKE I USED TO BECAUSE FOR ME BEING IN LOVE IS LIKE LETTIN' URSELF SUICIDE. love will gives u pain n hurts u n u'll die slowly because of it. n i'm not goin to risky myself once again.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!