i can't even know how to describe what i feel rite now. it's all mix up. i m so tired of what happenin to my life lately. lots of things happened n i dont know for how long this thing is goin to continue n when it will stop. ive done my best for them. but still,i can't satisfy them. i don't know what r they expectin from me. it seems like they dont like me for who i m now. they r not acceptin me,the real me. all they can do is controllin my life n RUININ it!!! for god sake. y can't they b like others that have an open minded mind. u guys keep on torturin me. guys,the cuts u give me have given my heart a very very deep scars. n i dont know when that scars will heal. or it wont heal at all? i dont feel like im at home rite. u guys seems like strangers to me. we r fallin apart. we r no longer like we used to be. we've change. TO WORST! all i can do now,is keep on breathin thou ive tried so many time to stop breathin,for real. n yes,i m givin up with myself n u guys s well. we're done. n i nid my time to b alone without u guys with me anymore.. cz.. i dont feel like i can stay much longer with u guys again. all i feel rite now is hurt. n i nid my time to heal. i'm sorry. i'm choosin this way. which is avoidin from u guys..
Friday, May 7, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
overdose
yes,perangai lama aku dh kembali semula. previously,i used to b a pill addicted. bkn pill jer,tp ubt batuk jgak. dh lama aku stop sume tuh. but now,i tink i m becomin the old one.
aku dh mula addict ngn ubt batuk. bukan aku suka suka jer nk teguk ubat batuk tuh sampai overdose,tp aku sangat sangat tension lately. aku x tao nk buat apa. yeah,org akn ckp yg buat bnda bodoh nie mmg xkn settle kn any probs. but when i share my probs to other peps,even to my family,but still it cant b resolved. so ? whats the diff babe? bila org org yg rpt dgn aku dh x boleh nk d percayai so aku rs im livin in this world on my own. i got no one with me. im alone. dats y aku terjebak dgn sume nie blk. :(
mlm td aku depressed gilaa,with everything. aku snggup keluar dr blik,trun g kt hall,msok dpur,bukak peti ais n cr ubat batuk nie. aku even mngamuk bila aku x jmpe ubat batuk nie. terok kn? kronik rite? yes man,i m totally a freak n so much worst than before. its true,when we smile peps always tot that we r happy but what they dont know is that deep in myself im suffering. banyak sgt hal yg mlanda dri aku skrg. n i dont noe if aku boleh ke x hadapi sume nie..
mlm td after aku teguk ubat batuk tuh,aku dh redha. if aku x dpt nk bukak mata aku lg sok nya,aku rela. sbb aku dh give up sangat dgn life aku nie. aku dh x rs happy dgn life aku. wpun aku slalu buat bnda2 yg boleh happy kn aku. aku tao aku dh brubah. kpd yg lebih teruk. but i wont blame my environment. i blame to my past. the past that keep on haunted me. bila masa lalu aku bmasalah sikit sbanyak ia effect present aku n future aku. hidup aku x sebahagia yg korg sangka. it fulls of pain n suffer. less happiness. dats for sure. :)
n skrg,aku x tao utk apa aku hidop. my life becomes complicated from day to day. n its gettin worst! dammit~ i wish i cn turn back time so that i wont become like this. a unhappy girl.
so aku nk advice korg,jgn lah tjebak ngn sume nie. cz its not easy to b on the right track back. its damn hard babe! serioushit. so, mke sure life korg,korg yg tentu kn n dont let others to control 100% on ur life. or u guys will ends up to b like me. sufferin! enjoy ur life to the fullest while u still cn. :)
aku dh mula addict ngn ubt batuk. bukan aku suka suka jer nk teguk ubat batuk tuh sampai overdose,tp aku sangat sangat tension lately. aku x tao nk buat apa. yeah,org akn ckp yg buat bnda bodoh nie mmg xkn settle kn any probs. but when i share my probs to other peps,even to my family,but still it cant b resolved. so ? whats the diff babe? bila org org yg rpt dgn aku dh x boleh nk d percayai so aku rs im livin in this world on my own. i got no one with me. im alone. dats y aku terjebak dgn sume nie blk. :(
mlm td aku depressed gilaa,with everything. aku snggup keluar dr blik,trun g kt hall,msok dpur,bukak peti ais n cr ubat batuk nie. aku even mngamuk bila aku x jmpe ubat batuk nie. terok kn? kronik rite? yes man,i m totally a freak n so much worst than before. its true,when we smile peps always tot that we r happy but what they dont know is that deep in myself im suffering. banyak sgt hal yg mlanda dri aku skrg. n i dont noe if aku boleh ke x hadapi sume nie..
mlm td after aku teguk ubat batuk tuh,aku dh redha. if aku x dpt nk bukak mata aku lg sok nya,aku rela. sbb aku dh give up sangat dgn life aku nie. aku dh x rs happy dgn life aku. wpun aku slalu buat bnda2 yg boleh happy kn aku. aku tao aku dh brubah. kpd yg lebih teruk. but i wont blame my environment. i blame to my past. the past that keep on haunted me. bila masa lalu aku bmasalah sikit sbanyak ia effect present aku n future aku. hidup aku x sebahagia yg korg sangka. it fulls of pain n suffer. less happiness. dats for sure. :)
n skrg,aku x tao utk apa aku hidop. my life becomes complicated from day to day. n its gettin worst! dammit~ i wish i cn turn back time so that i wont become like this. a unhappy girl.
so aku nk advice korg,jgn lah tjebak ngn sume nie. cz its not easy to b on the right track back. its damn hard babe! serioushit. so, mke sure life korg,korg yg tentu kn n dont let others to control 100% on ur life. or u guys will ends up to b like me. sufferin! enjoy ur life to the fullest while u still cn. :)
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